When I sold that first novel, I had to reshape my understanding of artistic success. Now as she waits for her shot, I get to tell her to keep writing and hustling and having faith until she gets her chance. I nearly gave up, but I had someone in my corner who told me to get ahold of myself, to have faith, to keep writing and hustling because I was going to get my chance. I had done my best, and my best was not good enough. I kept whittling down my dream from literary fame to modest riches to just getting a book deal to, finally, simply writing a good book. It took a long time to sell my first novel, “An Untamed State,” nearly two years, two agents, two revisions, countless rejections. I was going to turn 30 and then 35 and after that, I couldn’t even speculate because I was either going to have a best-selling book by the age of 35 or my dream would be not merely deferred but dead, dead, dead.Įven as I met with less rejection, I found reasons to worry about getting my shot. I was going to spend my life working mediocre jobs, writing in obscurity, and before long it was going to be too late.
I was incandescent with envy-so many breathless stories about people my age and often younger who were discovered by a hotshot agent, who sold a book for six or seven figures, who created a popular blog and parlayed that success into a full-time writing career. If I wanted those details, I had to seek them out, which, of course, I did, and covetously.
Was fortunate in that I was aware of the writing community I wanted to be a part of, but I wasn’t inundated by the details of anyone else’s writing life and successes. It was the earlier days of the internet, before the rise of social media but after the dawn of blogs. I’m stubborn, so I kept writing and reading and writing some more. My writing was constantly rejected, and I took the rejection personally, as one does. Throughout my 20s and most of my 30s, I was convinced I was never going to make it as a writer. I know I have a lot to say, but will anyone want to pay me to say it if I’m closer to 50 than I am to 35? I’ve written some essays and some blog pieces, but I haven’t been paid for them. My job recently reclassified me (demoted me), and I’ve taken it as a sign to get out of my profession and get my writing life started. I have three children, a partner and a full-time job. I’m a 47-year-old writer who lives in North Carolina. Am I too old to have a career in writing? Does age play a part in artistic success? I’m working on another book despite feelings of failure and despair. I’ve written two as yet unpublished books. I answered two letters-edited slightly,īelow-from writers of a certain age wanting to know if they still have a chance to make their dreams come true. Not long ago, I put out a call for questions and heard from a range of people. Giving advice is nearly as satisfying: the simple pleasure of offering counsel and hoping that you are helping in some small way. Growing up, I read “Dear Abby” and “Ask Ann Landers.” I enjoyed the voyeurism-glimpses into the lives and troubles of others-and I appreciated the steady, practical advice as if truly, for any problem, there was a solution.